CSI: The Wounded Healer

Introduction:

Nancy has shared that her Bible professor would remind her class that when you read a scripture the first question you ask is, “What does this passage have to say about God?” With this question in mind, last week I asked you to listen to the Burning Bush Story from the perspective of God. Let me highlight just a couple of things I feel are important. First, we hear that God is the God of many generations and that God remains faithful to the promises God makes. God is trustworthy and honors promises. One of the relationships I reflected upon last week was between God and Jacob. The story is in Genesis 32, starting at verse 22. It is a great story, telling how the people, Israel, received their name.

In the story, Jacob wrestles with God throughout the night. God ultimately wins, but because Jacob did not give up, God names him Israel, which literally means, “he who wrestled with God and prevailed.” God not only renames Jacob and his descendents, but blesses them as well. I find this story very important, as we seek to understand God and our relationship to God. We all wrestle with our faith and sometimes wonder and question where God is in the midst of our lives. Where is God when it hurts? Where is God when I am confused? Where is God when I feel alone and afraid? The story tells us that God is hanging on and does not let go. God remains connected, even in the midst of the struggle, and ultimately God prevails as well, and we receive the blessing, the new and healed life from God. We also see that Jacob’s hip was dislocated, so he carries a scar from the struggle. This is important, and I will elaborate on this in a moment.

Another important insight about God is why God is acting in this passage and reaching out to Moses. God says, “I have seen the misery of my people and I have heard their cries.” God shows us that God is vulnerable, that God is moved by what is happening in our lives. Our lives impact God. In this suffering, we see a God who responds, who enters into the struggles, who is willing to enter into our lives even in and especially in our times of suffering. This is a definition for compassion. God, in compassion, is ready to enter into the struggle and hang on until we receive blessing.

The next question we are to ask about the scripture is, “What does it say about us or to us?” I addressed the question of what is it saying to us the first week of the series. The scripture reminds us that God sends us to do God’s work. God trusts us with our moment in God’s story. We are all called by God. The part I want to address today is, “What does the scripture say about us, especially when we receive this call from God?

Let’s listen to the story one more time. This time I ask you to listen from the perspective of Moses.

Read Exodus 3:1-15

I believe Moses’ response to God’s call is so real, so human and one many of us can relate to as we ponder our call from God. “Who am I that you would send me?” I believe that one of the greatest hesitations we must overcome in our faith journeys is our doubt we have the ability or the skills to serve. We ponder, “Who am I that God can use me?” Or, “I wished I knew how to serve, how to be a source of “good news” to another.” How many of us walk by people we meet on the street who are asking for help and do not look at them because we know we do not have the resources to help each person we see?

We may all have our reasons for why we question our call or our ability to live it, and ask, “Who am I?” It is this I want to address today. The thoughts I want to share combine the two questions about scripture, of understanding God and understanding ourselves. Jesus said it this way in Luke 6:36. “Be compassionate as your Father is compassionate.”

The word of God for the people of God.

Sing: Change My Heart O God

Sermon:

One of the reasons I often hear about why people do not believe in a God is because there is suffering in the world. A sermon never has the ability to address such a topic as it is so complex and truly takes many weeks of class-time to investigate the many facets and complexities. I simply want to say, that scripture tells us that “all things can work for good for those who trust in the Lord.” I not only truly believe this, but have experienced this, and so have all of you. In our suffering, in our struggles, God enters into the hard times, and uses them to help shape our character, if we let God do so. In our wrestling and sufferings, God helps us shape our ability to be compassionate.

The truth is, that all of you, each and everyone of you who is here this day, is a gift from God to this community. Said differently, “The greatest gift to another is simply you and your presence in their life.” Henri Nouwen, one of the leading spiritual writers and guides of the generation shared that the most effective ministry that we, as the church, can practice is what he called “The Wounded Healer.” Nouwen said, “By our wounds we heal the wounds of others.” I want to change it just slightly and say, “By our healed wounds, we heal the wounds of others.”

This is where I return to the story of Jacob and his wrestling with God. Jacob hung on and received God’s blessing, but he still had the scar that reminded him of what had taken place. Let me just share a few of the ways our healed wounds, our ability to remember those hard times help us and shape us for our call to ministry.

First, our experiences help us to know how we may respond to another in their time of wrestling. How we may be a gift to them with our lives. For example, let me share a little about my mother’s death. When my mother died, I discovered I did not to be around anyone, who was not my nuclear family, which included my now ex-wife at the time. I knew that no one could understand what I was feeling except those who had the same relationship with my mom as I did. It was too personal, too deep, to have to deal with anyone who simply wanted to be helpful. What I learned from that as a pastor is this. When there is a death, or when there is even a serious operation, I never simply assume I should rush into the moment. I always ask permission first. I need to find out if this is one of those deeply personal times that needs to be shared with family.

I have also realized, that when I am allowed into these moments, what a sacred gift I or any of us have received. I marvel at what people allow me to share with them, sometimes their most personal moments, and I am extremely humbled. My Moses’ question is, “Who am I that I am allowed to be a part of such a sacred moment in the lives of others.”

Another thing I have learned from this time of my mother’s death is, “Don’t try to fix things, or think there is something you must say or do besides just being present. Your presence and being available is the gift. My mother was 50 when she died of cancer. When she was in her last few days of dying, my pastor came to the hospital and sat with my dad. The whole time she was there, she kept telling my dad, “This is not God’s fault. You can’t blame God for this.” On and on she went. When my dad saw me later in the day, he said, “Tell that person to not come back anymore.”

I think many of us hesitate and even keep ourselves from being a gift of presence, because we think there is something we are suppose to do or something we can say that will make things alright or at least better. What most of us need, is simply to know we are not alone. WE do not have to face these hard times, we do not have to struggle by ourselves, but there is someone who cares. We also know that one of the most important needs we have as human beings is to be understood. If we go in thinking we need to change what is happening, or we go in and talk and talk, we prevent the person from letting us know what they are really feeling and experiencing. We prevent them from being understood, and being loved as they are. We may even prevent them the opportunity to tell us what they really need in that moment, instead of doing what we think they need.

I had a friend who taught me the gift of presence like no other in my life. She died at much too young an age. But her husband, at her funeral, shared why she was such a gift to so many. He said, “My wife had the ability to make whoever she was with feel like they were the most important person in the world to her. And,” he continued, which describes presence so perfectly, “when you were with her, you probably were.” At the moment you are sharing your life with another, at that moment you are both the most important, for you are shaping each other in the moment. Is this not how we describe the presence of God in all of our lives? Is this not why we understand that there is not a person on this planet who is not precious to God, for God is eternally sharing a moment of life with each and every one of us? That God is fully present and fully understands all of us as precious children of God.

The wounded healer as a gift of compassion is even more than this. Again, in this need to be understood, we find others who have had similar experiences that we are facing to talk with and share. We do so, not only because we hope they will understand, but also because they will not judge. Our wounds open our hearts, and they are surely changed, as we sang, and they become more like God’s.

For example, I am not proud of the fact that I have been through a divorce. I remember not wanting to be a statistic. I remember the deep pain I felt and the self-doubt I experienced about myself. Am I truly not loveable? What is wrong with me that someone does not want to be with me? I remember the guilt I felt about my sons. They did not deserve to have their family torn apart. They had every right to have a great family and the nurture of both parent’s love. But, God can bring good out of all things. This is why I shared, the healed wounds of others. When I was going through this, I was not able to be helpful to anyone. I was too needy in my own life. But now, through the healed wounds, through the scars, I have a much greater and deeper understanding what another is feeling in their marriages and divorces. I also know that every time I share this story, my counseling load will increase. People want to come and talk, knowing they will be understood, and yes, will not be judged.

The other part of this story is I know my life is an incredible source of hope for those who are hurting. God is in the struggle. God is in the suffering and will hang on, so we may receive blessing. In our Christian faith we call it resurrection. You know that today, I am one of the luckiest people in the world, for I have an incredible soul mate, and have two daughters that are the delight of my life. I am a light of how God can turn pain and suffering into joy and happiness yet again.

There are so many other components to being compassionate as God is compassionate. Let me just say, in the Moses story, we can see in his response something that is also very human. Henri Nouwen says, “We all want to believe that compassion is a natural response to another’s pain and suffering. The truth is,” Nouwen continues, “is that what we all do naturally when we see suffering is have this deep response of wanting to run.” I share this, not as a judgment, but to let you know that this is a very human response we all have. This is what I believe is also happening when Moses spends so much time and energy trying to talk God out of sending him. Moses had seen the oppression and pain of his people already, and he did not want to return. He did not want to have to enter into the struggle again.

It is not easy to be present. It is not easy to enter fully into another’s life and feel it and experience it from their perspective, especially if and when we will experience the rejection and the callousness of others around us. Yet, how can we be fully present for another unless we take the time to listen to enter into their life and hear their stories. The Israelites are us, and all people. How can we make decisions and know what others may need unless we know those who are crying out? Who are those whose stories we need to hear? Who are those whom God already knows and is asking us to go and free them? Have we talked to a person and heard their story about losing their home? Have we talked to a person and heard their story about why they needed to come to “Shoes From The Shepherd” and receive help to simply buy their children shoes for school? Have we talked to a person and heard why they are at Open Door needing a meal and clothes? You can add all the controversial topics we face together today as well.

We have all known the struggles and wrestlings of life. We have all known the precious gift of a God who would not abandon us in the struggle. We all know the gift of someone who entered into our lives and supported us in our times of need. Hopefully, we have all known those moments when we have entered into the lives of others and been there for them. If we have, we know what an incredibly sacred and spiritual moment it is when we have been a blessing. God, reminded us through Moses, that when God calls us, we stand on holy ground. We stand in the presence of God, we go in the name of God, and we share in the holiness of God. God calls us to live our lives so we may be a gift, but even more, so we may experience the sacredness of life as we bring God’s holy presence to the world.

Sermon delived by Rev. George Cushman on August 8, 2010.