The angel Gabriel brought some good news and some bad news to Mary. The good news was she was favored by God. God was with Mary and had a special mission for her. The other good news was that God was going to give her a son, (a treasure for a woman of those days) and this son was going to be especially favored by God and would be a king, like Joseph’s ancestor David; the mother of a king that would certainly make life easier for her. The bad news is that she was going to go through some rough times because she was going to be pregnant and it wasn’t going to be by her future husband. All of us know the ending of Mary’s story. All of us know that her son was indeed a king but he turned out to be a king of a different sort than she might have expected. Mary’s village, her parents, and her future husband and his family did not know the end of the story. In fact, they didn’t know any of the story at all – yet.

I am not sure we, in this culture, fully understand the risk that Mary took when she said, “yes” to God’s call. Engagement or betrothal in the ancient world was a contract made between two families. It was confirmed by oaths and by gifts given to the bride and her family. A betrothed person was considered married by our standards today^[i] and Mary’s pregnancy by someone other than Joseph was a capital offense. The law written in Deuteronomy 22: 23-24 says, “If there is a young woman, a virgin already engaged to be married, and a man meets her in the town and lies with her, you shall bring both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death, the young woman because she did not cry for help in the town and the man because he violated his neighbor's wife. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.” And let’s be real, if your fiancé or daughter came to you and said she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit, how many of us would believe her? Even if Joseph believed her, and the Gospel of Matthew tells us that Joseph was told in a dream and afterward he accepted that Mary was telling the truth, I doubt the rest of the village believed her. Can you imagine the looks she would have received and the unkind remarks or worse the stones thrown at her? It is no wonder that she left town to visit her cousin. I am sure that Mary knew well the way scandalized women were treated and what happened to adulterers. It always amazes me that she said, “yes” and then sang her song of praise about it! “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.”

She loved and trusted God enough to take this huge risk. I do believe that she had a choice to say “no, thank you.” I think she had the free will to obey or to reject God as we all do, but she trusted God enough to believe that God would care for her future just as God had cared for her spiritual ancestors, Abraham and Sarah’s futures. How could she have imagined the life Jesus would have? Her love for her son would put her at risk again. She risked the broken heart that came with his rejection and execution. She risked brutality as she stayed at the foot of the cross. Love always involves risks. Loving God involves risk. Loving others involves risk.

I think some people refuse to open their hearts because they are afraid of the risk, but refusing to risk comes at a terrible cost. The song called “The Rose” describes this in it’s own way. The second verse says “It's the heart, afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It's the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance. It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give. And the soul, afraid of dyin', that never learns to live.”^[ii]

Love is risky. When you love someone they can hurt you far deeper than someone you don’t really care about. They can betray you. They can reject you. They can and do fail you. I think this is why parents who harm their children physically or emotionally do so much damage. Parents are usually a child’s first experience of love and when they betray love the scars run deep. That’s why I think part of healing is helping people come to know the One who loved them even before their parents. It is critical to show people the true image of love, Divine Love who brings life. Even if you are blessed with loved ones who are faithful and respond to your love in the best sense of the word, love is still risky. All living things eventually die and to love risks the pain of loss. The movie Shadowlands is about the love relationship of C.S. Lewis and Joy Gresham. Joy is dying of cancer and Lewis’ pain is excruciating. Joy reminds him that “The suffering now is part of the joy then.  And part of the joy then is the suffering now.” ^[iii] The love that they shared brought them not only delight in their time together but now it brings them the pain of separation. Love is a very risky thing. It takes a great deal of courage to love especially when you have experienced how love can hurt.

One day I read a book about prayer.^[iv] It suggested thinking of the thing you want most in your life then putting it in a one sentence prayer that you can “pray without ceasing.” After some soul searching and prayers for direction, I decided that my prayer was “Jesus, love through me.”  It is a prayer I repeat very often especially before I visit with someone. After visiting with a person in agonizing pain, I was crying for them on my way home in the car and I realized that Jesus must have a broken heart most of the time. When you love someone, you enter their pain, not to wallow in it but to share its burden. Another part of the risk of loving is that you not only share the joy of your beloved’s high moments, but you share the pain of their suffering. It is not easy to take that on nor is it always easy to receive. One day my youngest brother damaged his knee and was in the hospital, he worried about telling me because he was afraid it would hurt me more than him. I was like a second mother to my brother, but he needn’t have worried though because I accepted a long time ago that loving someone involves the risk of pain. And I have found that the joy and beauty of love is well worth the pain that comes with it. I can not imagine living without loving many people and our pets; life would be so drab and lonely without love. Love is indeed risky, but as Jesus showed us in his life and death to risk love is the way to fullness of life as God meant it to be.

A poem by an unknown author in Exploring The Road Less Traveled puts it this way:

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before the crowd is to risk their love.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk failure.
But the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The one who risks nothing does nothing and has nothing-and finally is nothing.
He may avoid sufferings and sorrow,
But he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love.
Chained by his certitude, he is a slave; he has forfeited freedom.
Only one who risks is free!^[v]

The risk Mary took, the risk to love God enough to be obedient, the risk Mary and Joseph took, the risk to raise this child born in such a peculiar way brought freedom, life and love into this world in a way that changed it forever. We lit the candle of love today, so how is love part of our preparation for the birth of Christ? We too are called to take the risk, to risk loving God enough to surrender our lives saying in our own ways, “Here I am, Lord; use me as you will.” We too are called to take the risk to love each other. For if we are to bear the Christ in our own lives we have to love as he loved; we have to love God and each other courageously, generously, expansively. Love is risky; may we have the courage to dare it. Lord Jesus, love through us. Amen.   

Sermon delived by Rev. Nancy Cushman on December 18, 2005.