I must admit to you that my first year in seminary was one of the most challenging, anxiety provoking, deflating experiences of my life.  Sometimes I wonder how I ever built the strength to face the second year.  Why was this?  The professors challenged every faith belief I had when I entered.  We had to wrestle with questions that brought into doubt some of what had been a part of our faith statements.  They asked us the hard questions that forced us to see we may have conflicting ideas about God and God’s presence and activity in our lives.  By the end of that first year I was no longer sure what I could believe in and where I would find the answers.

Well just after the end of the year I went to a seminar where I saw my former District Superintendent.  He came up to me and asked me, “How was your first year at seminary?”  I didn’t want him to know I was now a person whose faith was shaken and wavering, so I did what any red-blooded first year seminarian would do, I lied!  I told him about all the classes I had and all that I had learned and how enlightening it was.  After a few minutes I saw this little grin come to his lips.  He then said, “That’s interesting, because after my first year in seminary I came home an agnostic.  I wasn’t sure what I believed any more.”  Then he just patted me on the shoulder and said, “Hang in there George, they’ll put it all back together for you.  And when they do it will be a much stronger and deeper faith.”  Another smile and he walked away.  He was just the encouragement I needed, and he was indeed correct.  By the time I finished seminary, I did have a deeper understanding of my faith, and one that was able to stand more readily the challenges and questions the world may throw at me.

I have come to believe that one of the great gifts that God gives to people is the gift of doubt.  Not doubt in the sense of a lack of faith in God, but doubt that reflects a complete trust in God.  Doubt that allows us to question our beliefs and to explore and try to grow in our walk with God, while trusting that this is what God wants us to do, and that God will be a part of the walk with us.  We have such a complete trust in God’s love that we can question and seek answers to the deep questions about life and faith in our lives, and that God will help us find the answers.  The reason this is so important is that reminder that the farthest distance often traveled is from our head to our hearts.  Our heart cannot feel what our mind does not believe.  Faith and trust need honest and insightful answers to grow and become stronger.

I love the thought of Karl Rahner, a spiritual theologian.  He talks about God and mystery, and how so many people say we simply must believe what we are told about God and if it doesn’t make sense to us we simply say it is part of the mystery of God.  Rahner states that mystery is not about believing in contrary ideas, but mystery is simply recognizing that there are questions we may not have answers to, but it doesn’t mean there are not answers.  God wants us to know God fully, for it benefits neither God or us to not understand and have good answers to our faith that helps us be more connected to God and have a richer life because of it.

Rahner says seeking answers to our mysteries is like climbing a mountain.  It can be a difficult climb as we seek and search, but if we are diligent and patient we will reach the summit, we will discover the answers to our questions.  But, he goes on, what do you see from the summit, but hundreds of more peaks waiting to be scaled.  We know, ourselves, new answers only open up a hundred new questions.  That is why I find doubt such a gift, for it never allows me to rest in what I know about God but challenges me to learn more, while it shows the ultimate trust in God knowing my questioning and growing does not offend God, but actually may delight God that I desire to deepen my relationship with God.  It is why I believe the “Great Commandment” says, “We need to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul and mind.”  To want to deepen our awareness, our understanding of another is an act of love.  I tell people that every year my relationship with Nancy is better than the year before.  We have spent another year getting to know each other better, our relationship is deeper and richer, and besides, I have had another year to straighten her out.  Just kidding.  But don’t you find this to be true for you?  The years together just add to the depth of who you are together.

All that I have just shared is especially true when it comes to the study of our Bible, our sacred writings.  As Christian people, we recognize these writings as the foundation for understanding our relationship to God.  Through the teachings of Jesus and Paul and other writers, we find the answers and questions we need to know God and God’s hopes and dreams for us as the children of God.  Let me just share a couple of examples that have been wonderful “ahas” about scripture for me as I learn and grow in my faith and understanding of God. 

The very first sermon I heard in seminary was given by the president of the school.  He was trying to prepare us for the journey we were about to embark upon.  He pointed out that the original biblical writings are in Hebrew and Greek, so we must rely upon translations to read the Bible.  He also pointed out language, or the meanings of words change over time.  For example it was just a few years ago that “bad” meant “good” in our vernacular. So, if we are reading an older translation like the original King James, that even though it is a beautiful piece of literature, some of the words no longer mean what they did in the 1600’s.  For example the Beatitude of “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.”  Today, when we think of the word meek, we have a sense of someone who is rather submissive.  In fact one of the definitions for meek in Webster’s Dictionary is, “too submissive, easily imposed upon, spineless and spiritless.”  So how would a person like this inherit the kingdom?  The president’s point was, we need to continuously go back to the original languages of the first texts and understand what was meant by the original authors.  Meek in the original Greek text means to be gentle, but also be fully committed to following God.  It means being able to get ourselves out of the way and be able to fully embrace the life God desires us to live.  And as Nancy said last week, that often times is not easy, for it can cause us to challenge the world’s views to live God’s plan.  But, in gentleness, we can do this without hurting or berating others.  What a difference in meaning.  To be meek actually calls for a deep, inner strength.

But, someone may say, “How about the passage we heard today, about turn the other cheek?  Surely that shows a sense of being passive.”  It may, in part, reflect the teaching we hear of never return evil for evil, but as we learn more about first century Jewish culture it also takes on a whole new meaning, a meaning that would have been very well known by Jesus’ contemporaries.  In Jewish culture, being left-handed was unclean.  That’s right, all of you lefties would have ranked right up there with pork and catfish on the purity laws.  Also, if you wanted to belittle or humiliate another person, show them that you held them in lesser esteem, you would backhand them with your right hand, which is why Jesus’ reference to the right cheek is so important. To backhand someone with your right hand, you must do it to their right cheek.  But, if you turn your cheek and expose your left, now if they want to strike you again, they need to either use the open palm of their hand, which in Jewish culture identified you as an equal, or they needed to use their left hand, but then they would have been charged with performing an unclean act.  So what does this say?  That Jesus has a wonderful way of understanding how you can make a point, how you can challenge injustice, without returning evil for evil.  He is saying there are other ways to bringing justice without adding to the world’s injustice.  It is Jesus’ call to nonviolent resistance.

I shared this interpretation one night at a Bible study and one woman was overjoyed at hearing it.  She said, that this passage had never made sense to her.  “When we were raising our sons,” she said, “I taught them to always stick up for themselves, to not let people push them around, but I always felt I was contradicting my faith.  For I was telling them not to turn the other cheek.  This interpretation makes total sense to me.”  As I shared earlier, someone said, “Our hearts cannot feel what our minds do not believe.”  Faith, Jesus’ teachings, are empowering when they touch our souls and resonate with us.  The word education comes from the Latin word “educare” which means “to draw out of, to draw from.”  We sense a truth when our spirit connects with God’s Spirit.  It comes from within.

There are so many more examples.  Again, in understanding them we not only gain better insight of Jesus’ teachings, but also of Jesus the person.  In the next passage where Jesus says, “If someone asks for your cloak, give them your coat as well.”  Again, is Jesus saying we should just give away everything we own?  No.  In first century Israel, many of the people only owned two pieces of clothing.  The cloak which was their normal daily attire, and a cloak, which during the cold weather kept them warm, and also doubled as a blanket at night.  Because of this, if someone owed another money, they may use their cloak as collateral, and the person they owed money to might keep it during the day, but would return it at night so the person could stay warm.  What Jesus may be saying here is, “If someone sues you and they want your coat, give them your cloak as well.”  So what happens when you walk out of court?  You walk out in your all-together.  What does that do?  It shows that the person who sued you was willing to take everything you have, even that which keeps you from freezing.  And who looks bad, especially in this culture?  The person who is greedy.

I see two important thoughts here.  One Jesus has a sense of humor.  One can imagine what those who heard this statement thought when they heard him teach it.  That Jesus used humor to make a point.  Secondly, it shows that Jesus does indeed question and challenge the practices of his society.  He is very much interested in social justice and the lives of the poor and disenfranchised and the practices of those who have the blessings of life.

Study is indeed important as we seek to know God more fully and experience God more deeply in our lives.  It is a challenge, it can be disconcerting and even cause some anxiety as it did my first year in seminary, but it is a journey worth taking.  For it provides answers to questions, even though it causes us to have more questions now seeking answers.  Yet, it helps us to have a deeper, richer, more intimate relationship with God through the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.  And that is what this whole series on H.A.B.I.T.S. has been all about.  To introduce the spiritual disciplines and practices that help us deepen our relationship to God.  “H” means have a relationship with God.  “A” reminds us we are accountable to each other.  “B” calls us to be in service and “I” calls us to do this through our involvement in community.  “T” is for tithing, meaning a commitment with our time, talents and resources and today, “S” calls us to study and learn, to love with our minds as we seek insightful answers that open our hearts to the truth of love that is always there.

God wants us to learn and grow.  It is an act of love that promises us that the longer we walk together, the deeper and more loving our relationship becomes.  Go ahead and doubt, it is the greatest act of faith we can give to God.  It simply says, “We trust you to answer our questions and deepen our relationship.”  Climb the mountains, the views are spectacular from the top.

Sermon delived by Rev. George Cushman on September 4, 2005.