Visiting Helen

Several years ago, our family took a gift basket assembled by the girls' Sunday School classes to one of the "homebound" PUMC church members just before Christmas. We thought it would be a nice gesture and a way to show our daughters what impact their efforts in church could make. Little did we realize what impact Helen's life would have on our own family.

We had only anticipated stopping by for a short visit, but when we walked into Helen's room at Las Fuentes Care Center, exchanged greetings and small talk, Helen blurted out, "I'M SO LONELY!" She had no family in state and was recovering from a leg amputation, with little support other than from PUMC and a neighbor.

It was a rude but necessary awakening for us - how could we expect to breeze in and out of someone's life without some degree of caring and involvement? We decided as a family to respond to her need by visiting on a regular basis.

The three years we knew her were very difficult times of adjustment for Helen: she made the decision to sell her cherished home and possessions of many years and transition to a permanent move in the nursing home. She had to work through her grief over the recent death of her only daughter to cancer. She had to adjust to a gradual loss of independence and loss of many former relationships which were now difficult to maintain because of her functional limitations.

Her favorite activity with our family was to get away from the nursing home and go for drives. Whenever we rode over a speed bump, we knew she'd say again, "Thank you, ma'am!" She loved dogs, and we brought ours to visit. Her most cherished gift from us was a favorite but warm teddy bear of Amy's, which she gave to Helen to comfort her. Most of all, she liked visiting McDonald's for a hamburger and fries; we took her there, too. We were pleased when, the following holiday season, she invited us to share in the Care Center's Thanksgiving meal as her "family".

We were also able to encourage her to return to church for a year or so, until she was no longer able to attend the service. Whenever there was a sing-along at the Care Center thereafter, Helen always requested singing "Jesus Loves Me".

A series of subsequent small strokes rendered her unable to communicate. One of our last memories of her shortly before she died was bringing her a McDonald's hamburger and fries for her 93rd birthday. A nurses' aide told us Helen had to be fed with assistance because she had been eating poorly. Amy hand-fed her burger and fries to Helen, and she ate them as if she had not eaten anything that has tasted so good for a long time.

We weren't certain that we made any real difference visiting Helen in the last year or so of her life, but she most certainly enriched our lives. Our daughters are much more comfortable communicating with elders, and we know that nursing homes aren't such scary places. We made other friends at the Care Center, too. We learned about Helen's own contributions of gifts and service to PUMC over her many years of membership. Most importantly, we experienced from that holiday season, as we have many times since, how much more blessed it is to give than to receive.

--Barb, Kurt, Kate and Amy R.

Read James l:22-25, 27

Prayer:
Father, we thank you for sending us angels to teach us compassion and love. Help us always to follow your example as disciples, not only during this season of giving but throughout the year. Amen.